no more 030609 :'(

For 6 years my feelings have been on and off for you… And the moment you asked me to be yours a couple of days after your birthday… I thought to myself, “am i dreaming?” then i asked you, “are you positive and are you sure about this?” and your answer was “yes”.. so it took a while for me to be convinced/accept you and i gave in and told you all of my feelings. And despite all the bad talk i’ve been hearing about you and having a gist of your past.. that’s why i thought we could last. because i was willing to give you a chance. but i was wrong.

Now, 6 months later… i still can’t forget those words of yours. And about almost 4 weeks ago, i was in a conversation with your brother in law and he said that you’ve changed because of one girl, that you aren’t drinking anymore, you aren’t smoking anymore.. that you would get yourself tattooed up and show it off but now you just cover it up and that you come home to family more often. god bless that you’ve changed. but he mentioned, it’s all because of your current girlfriend… and at that moment my heart broke and my mind went insane! because clearly we both know.. I helped you pull through those bad times. though not physically because we’re so many miles apart. but whatevs!

And all those photos posted up on facebook just break my heart because i look and say, that’s supposed to be me in her place. but i know i can never compare to her. she’s pretty and looks “religious” … but hello she’s touching you all over. wtf?

sure i shouldn’t say anything now that we’re over but honestly, i’m not totally over you, babe. and yes i know it isn’t fair for my boyfriend eventhough he knows the truth. but feelings are feelings. we can’t deny them.

And i know we both can’t deny our feelings.. but why’d you leave? and till now.. there are some unanswered questions… hmmm

i love you so much… and i really miss you! xoxo.

050210 [m&a]

I am unsure if accepting you to be a part of my life was a good choice.. But i was willing to open up my heart since i decided to close it because of an individual and giving you, me.. US a chance…please don’t disappoint me babe.

I know you promised me you wouldn’t hurt„ disappoint or leave me… but i told you not to promise me anything… because i’ve heard all that a few too many times before.

let’s really make this something :)

;-*

So, yesterday morning i went swimming for the first time in like a couple of years... and a man in his late 40's just hopped in the pool and he greeted the ones around him with a cheery "good morning" .. and boy, was he fit... he overtook me everytime.. bahaha... awesome!! respect to you sir! *laughs*
And so i was walking home and i felt soo fresh but as i got home i felt sleepy.
Had work in the afternoon and then received a text from my girl asking me to go to Chelsea beach...
oh my... we got to chelsea then went up to mentone... and we went up and down like literally 6 times until they made up their minds that we'd go to mentone.
anyway... i posted a tweet & status update when i got home, which was around 1... was bloody buggered -_- but it was good..
i posted exactly this:

The beach from the sunset onwards is just so beautiful.. the natural lights glistening on the water making it look like a blanket of silk ahhhh.... ♥ :)

I'm sure this is what is constantly on individuals minds/what actually happen in real life... haha.. yeah this is my current state. think whatever... but this is it... enjoy xx

Hey, all i want to say is,
from the first time we met,
i saw something in you,
that got me all curious,
and had to find out..
although the things i do and say may be suspicious
but anything to get closer and find out why i do and what?
But i can’t seem to find the answer
And the more i try to find it,
The more im falling for you
Could we be?
Damn!
WISH IT WAS THAT EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.why does love always feel like a battlefield.


.. you told me to never give up and never care what people think.. but u gave up and u do care what people think..

...it's all over and done but the heartache will always live on inside... cos things won't ever go back to what they used to be...

i just want to drown in a pool of blood... maybe that'll be the only way i can get you to notice me. and all the blood you see is how much my heart has cried out for you.

♥ Michael Jackson :) http://www.michaeljackson.com

A son, a brother, a father, a nephew, an uncle, a friend, an inspiration/icon/idol.. whatever he may be to an individual..the king of pop..Michael Jackson, has definitly touched and moved us with his outstanding unique talent(s), whether it be his slick dance moves, great vocals, wonderful lyrics, fantastic music or just everything in between. Thanks for sharing it with us. What a legend! <3>


i wanted to post this message on this website, http://www.michaeljackson.com but for some reason i can't find my message on there...
so i'll just share it on here.. and if anyone else would like to share a memory with everyone and can get their message on the site... awesome :)