no more 030609 :'(

For 6 years my feelings have been on and off for you… And the moment you asked me to be yours a couple of days after your birthday… I thought to myself, “am i dreaming?” then i asked you, “are you positive and are you sure about this?” and your answer was “yes”.. so it took a while for me to be convinced/accept you and i gave in and told you all of my feelings. And despite all the bad talk i’ve been hearing about you and having a gist of your past.. that’s why i thought we could last. because i was willing to give you a chance. but i was wrong.

Now, 6 months later… i still can’t forget those words of yours. And about almost 4 weeks ago, i was in a conversation with your brother in law and he said that you’ve changed because of one girl, that you aren’t drinking anymore, you aren’t smoking anymore.. that you would get yourself tattooed up and show it off but now you just cover it up and that you come home to family more often. god bless that you’ve changed. but he mentioned, it’s all because of your current girlfriend… and at that moment my heart broke and my mind went insane! because clearly we both know.. I helped you pull through those bad times. though not physically because we’re so many miles apart. but whatevs!

And all those photos posted up on facebook just break my heart because i look and say, that’s supposed to be me in her place. but i know i can never compare to her. she’s pretty and looks “religious” … but hello she’s touching you all over. wtf?

sure i shouldn’t say anything now that we’re over but honestly, i’m not totally over you, babe. and yes i know it isn’t fair for my boyfriend eventhough he knows the truth. but feelings are feelings. we can’t deny them.

And i know we both can’t deny our feelings.. but why’d you leave? and till now.. there are some unanswered questions… hmmm

i love you so much… and i really miss you! xoxo.

050210 [m&a]

I am unsure if accepting you to be a part of my life was a good choice.. But i was willing to open up my heart since i decided to close it because of an individual and giving you, me.. US a chance…please don’t disappoint me babe.

I know you promised me you wouldn’t hurt„ disappoint or leave me… but i told you not to promise me anything… because i’ve heard all that a few too many times before.

let’s really make this something :)

;-*