Can't do anything right.

Must i say more than what has been written in the title part?

I can't even clean my house properly..
I can't even even have a huge heart and not say no without my bro thinking I'm being used. Maybe I don't mind being asked for favours. I like helping and giving out to people.
I can't even do my job properly. Maybe my confidence got a hold of me and made me think that eveything was good and okay and that yes, I can do the tasks given to me. But i suppose not. i got a few things wrong. i always seem to upset my boss. i never wanted that to happen.

I'm SORRY to let all my close ones down. I'm such a failure! seriously!

I'm still thankful for this life i've been given.. though maybe i've been taking it for granted.

I just want to cry in my lil emo corner and cut myself... a slice of cake! hahaha.

my heart is still swimming in there in my gut.. stupid feeling. worst feeling ever

:'(
:'(
:'(
just cried 3 rivers guys! hahaha... geeezzz!

PASSION

Since I was young, I've been learning traditional Indonesian dancing on-off and have always had an interest in hip hop. But I never really took lessons for that till about a couple of years ago when I was in Year 12.
I took classes throughout the year at MMA. but went overseas at the end of that year. When I came back to Melbourne, I haven't been taking any classes at all up until yesterday.

The feeling of getting back into the groove and learning ways my body can move was AWESOME!
learnt what they called the 'Roger Rabbit' and heaps more but there weren't really any names for the others.

And next week I will be learning how to 'lock' :D so excited! can't wait!!!

...she cries herself to sleep everynight thinking of him...wishing he held onto his words...

Call me crazy/insane/messed up/a waste of time but I'm still hung over you... why? HA! I don't know...

About 16 more days, a year ago = your birthday = was when everything unraveled.
Everything we thought was wrong, was actually acceptable and fine.

I had a conversation with your best mate. he kept mentioning you.. and we joked around.. but inside it was killing me.
the conversation between Mr.A & I
Me: ok, enough about him.
A: why change the topic? emang mau bahas soal apa lagi? ( what else is there to talk about anyway?)
Me: I don't know.. anything will be great conversation.
A: Isn't he great conversation?
Me: klo bahas soal dia (if we were to talk about him)... trust me i have a WHOLE book about it... many pages with plenty of chapters.

i really really miss you. each and every day.

And yeah, i am fully aware that i may be young, selfish, foolish and clueless... but i mean it when i say these words. I Love You.

http://meliis2a.tumblr.com/

i reblogged this image from someone i follow on tumblr.com and yeah i thought it had alot of meaning to it :) i love this picture :D

Follow me please:
http://meliis2a.tumblr.com/

no more 030609 :'(

For 6 years my feelings have been on and off for you… And the moment you asked me to be yours a couple of days after your birthday… I thought to myself, “am i dreaming?” then i asked you, “are you positive and are you sure about this?” and your answer was “yes”.. so it took a while for me to be convinced/accept you and i gave in and told you all of my feelings. And despite all the bad talk i’ve been hearing about you and having a gist of your past.. that’s why i thought we could last. because i was willing to give you a chance. but i was wrong.

Now, 6 months later… i still can’t forget those words of yours. And about almost 4 weeks ago, i was in a conversation with your brother in law and he said that you’ve changed because of one girl, that you aren’t drinking anymore, you aren’t smoking anymore.. that you would get yourself tattooed up and show it off but now you just cover it up and that you come home to family more often. god bless that you’ve changed. but he mentioned, it’s all because of your current girlfriend… and at that moment my heart broke and my mind went insane! because clearly we both know.. I helped you pull through those bad times. though not physically because we’re so many miles apart. but whatevs!

And all those photos posted up on facebook just break my heart because i look and say, that’s supposed to be me in her place. but i know i can never compare to her. she’s pretty and looks “religious” … but hello she’s touching you all over. wtf?

sure i shouldn’t say anything now that we’re over but honestly, i’m not totally over you, babe. and yes i know it isn’t fair for my boyfriend eventhough he knows the truth. but feelings are feelings. we can’t deny them.

And i know we both can’t deny our feelings.. but why’d you leave? and till now.. there are some unanswered questions… hmmm

i love you so much… and i really miss you! xoxo.

050210 [m&a]

I am unsure if accepting you to be a part of my life was a good choice.. But i was willing to open up my heart since i decided to close it because of an individual and giving you, me.. US a chance…please don’t disappoint me babe.

I know you promised me you wouldn’t hurt„ disappoint or leave me… but i told you not to promise me anything… because i’ve heard all that a few too many times before.

let’s really make this something :)

;-*

So, yesterday morning i went swimming for the first time in like a couple of years... and a man in his late 40's just hopped in the pool and he greeted the ones around him with a cheery "good morning" .. and boy, was he fit... he overtook me everytime.. bahaha... awesome!! respect to you sir! *laughs*
And so i was walking home and i felt soo fresh but as i got home i felt sleepy.
Had work in the afternoon and then received a text from my girl asking me to go to Chelsea beach...
oh my... we got to chelsea then went up to mentone... and we went up and down like literally 6 times until they made up their minds that we'd go to mentone.
anyway... i posted a tweet & status update when i got home, which was around 1... was bloody buggered -_- but it was good..
i posted exactly this:

The beach from the sunset onwards is just so beautiful.. the natural lights glistening on the water making it look like a blanket of silk ahhhh.... ♥ :)